A blessing in disguise

I used to pray to be with my family again, never did I think I would, the way it did. God works in mysterious ways. As long as you’re putting your part, what seems impossible becomes possible. A blessing in disguise is what happened with me.

I felt like my hands were tied and the rest of my life would be to just live as I had been living, in an abusive, isolated and controlling relationship. I would constantly pray and talk to God, little by little I started losing faith. I felt like I was going insane, seeking therapy, ending up in mental hospitals because the abuser wanted me placed there for knowing that he was losing control of me. There was a point in time that I just wanted to be placed in a mental hospital to not be home anymore. I was having suicidal thoughts and started thinking that was my only way out.

My kids though? I said how could I just leave them like this? They rely so much on me, I can’t just leave them with their dad, their dad rely’s too much on me too. How would they survive? What if they turn out to be like him and or like myself with just accepting the abuse.

I thought to myself, I’d be gone, but I’d never rest in peace, I know I have unfinished business in this world.

July 4, 2020, the abuser kept taunting me as always, but this time I defended myself. It took for me to end up in jail, in my hometown, for me to wake up and realize this was it. That had to be my only way out of this toxic cycle I was living in. I said I can’t go back, and sure enough, I never did. That there was my blessing in disguise. I was released 1 week later, and a new life is all I could think of.