It’s ok to not feel ok

I've been not really myself for a good 2 weeks now, I'm pretty good at disquising my pain, especially around my daughter. She got to spend a few days with her grandma in Mexico and I just took advantage of letting go of my feelings and expressing to myself how I truly feel. As such a loving mother I am, words can't express how I feel for not having my boys with us. And how it's just another year of fesitivities without them. My mind and heart are just overwhelmed and exhausted of thoughts of how they are on a daily and even more on these days where they knew I did my all to make it the best for them. I layed in bed and just day dreamt until I fell asleep. I ignored my phone for hours and then got on it just to look at pictures of them. I started to feel a little anger within myself again but snapped myself out of it, knowing that I'm doing the best I can no matter what & all I have control over is what I've been doing and what I will continue doing to gain their hearts back. I then wondered if what I'm choosing as a career path is really meant for me, am I doing enough? It's a mixture of emotions, thoughts and beliefs. But these 2 weeks helped me reset, refocus and gain more strength. I'm never giving up!